You are here
Home > Testimony > EX-MUSLIM | TESTIMONIES | #004 | COMING OUT OF THE ATHEIST CLOSET

EX-MUSLIM | TESTIMONIES | #004 | COMING OUT OF THE ATHEIST CLOSET

I guess there is no point in hiding this anymore from my family.

I am an atheist, I’m not sorry about being an atheist but I deeply regret and apologize for lying to everyone about this for over a decade as I didn’t think anyone would be ready or accept me for my choice.

para

I do not believe in Allah, Angels, the afterlife or Shaitans, I don’t even believe in ghosts. I’ve been an atheist since I was 16 and no, this is not a brash decision I made over night.

mosque-arabic-md copy

I had struggle with Islam for four years since I was 12, attending madrasa at Al Ansar where I faced horrible discrimination and racism from people who call themselves muslims all because I was of mix race and had trouble reading arabic, I stopped attending madrasa and never went back since.

para

For four years I did my own research on Islam because I still believed in it, I read the Quran, the Hadiths and Shariah law and the more I looked into it, the more found myself not agreeing with it and its teachings. And I know what it says about people like me who are apostates of the religion, I hope you disagree with it as well. And if you do disagree with what it says about apostates, I hope you know why and where that come from.

para

No, your cherry picking of divine revelation doesn’t come from faith, it comes from our ability as people to empathize with one another and care for each other altruistically, it is social conditioning that removes this two key emotions from people of people who are not like us, I honestly do not see any reason to separate people and treat people differently, we’re all humans, we deserve fair and equal treatment. This is the basis of my life’s principle, my revelation.

para

I had looked into other alternative religions during my period of searching and I have noticed that all religions preach the same thing, Peace, Conformity, Obedience and Faith.

soldier

I have no problem with peace but my version is peace is where everyone is accepted for who they are and people understand why they are the way they are, not the kind of peace that is achieved through conformity, obedience and faith where everyone believes in identical thoughts.

para

When I confided in a friend of mine about my religiosity, when I visited my sister in iceland at 15, she said the one thing that made the most sense “Not having a religion is a choice too”.

I thought about what she had said for over the year and concluded that there is no point to religion, the word atheism wasn’t even uttered, the last hurdle for me to overcome was faith, blind belief in something just because someone says it is.

blind

I strive for objectivity in my life, it keeps me levelled and there has just been no evidence of God, my priority for objectivity helped me over come the hurdle of faith.

para

This is why I am an atheist.

I’m not an atheist because I want to rebel against authority.

I’m not an atheist because I hate god

I’m not an atheist because it’s hip.

para

I’m an atheist because I place importance in objectivity, evidence and reason.

I’m an atheist because I do not agree with tribalism or othering.

I’m an atheist because I value humanity before spirituality.

The people around us are what’s important cherish them and love them before they’re gone, I learned this the hard way when I lost my father.

para

So to the people in my family who didn’t find out about this through me, I’m sorry I’ve hurt you the most.

Auntie Ros, I’ve always loved your optimism and how you see the potential in everyone.

Auntie Pau, You’ve always been hard on me, and I appreciate your toughness, you implore me to “go out and find the truth” I implore you to make friends who do not fit societal norms, and maybe you’ll find out why I value humanity more.

Auntie Pai, You’re the youngest and the hippest and the funniest of my father’s sisters, I hope you remain vibrant and full of life for a long time.

Auntie Cha, I loved the time we spent together when I was younger but I felt I had to pull myself away from you because you wanted me to be someone I’m not and I didn’t want to disappoint you by pretending to be someone that I am not, I am so sorry you had to find about it this way.

Mak, I am never going to go back to being a Muslim no matter how many islamic messages you tag me in.

And I want to thank the two people in my family who have known about my atheism and have not given me a hard time and still accept me for who I am despite my choice, my sister and a special thanks to Uncle Scott whom I confided in honestly about how depressed I became when my father passed away because I couldn’t confide in anyone about how I truly felt, thank you so much.

para

Again, I apologize for lying to everyone for so long about my atheism but I will not apologize for leaving Islam, if you have a problem with this, let me know, I will listen to you and I will explain to you in greater detail..


Top